The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Stu often tells people that we have two boys and "a middle princess."

She's as cute as cute can be, that middle princess. Somehow she already has a figure most 20 year olds would kill for, beautiful straight hair that is naturally the color Jennifer Aniston  pays $1,000s to create. And her sense of style is killer - carefully mixing and matching items from her wardrobe with the aplomb of a stylist. Owning four pairs of shoes apparently isn't enough. (She's five mind you!)  Recently she told me, "Mom, I don't have enough shoes."

Plus she's darling: fluffing her hair at men and giggling behind her hand with the other girls. Honestly, she's an enigma to me - where did she come from - already beautiful, confident and decisive at five years old.

With all these good qualities it would seem, dear reader, that every day is roses with our dear Mugsy, right? However, you are sorely mistaken.

Not only are her feet the smelliest in America (can I get an AMEN from anyone who's babysat her?), her attitude often stinks too. I've never met a person more prone to the "I can't's" than she is. Simple homework is an enormous battle because it is bending her will. Doing prescribed work is almost too much for her delicate, determined, direct personality to absorb. I'm at my wits end with her on a regular basis. It's hard for me to imagine a more foreign creature to come from my womb. Having grown up with three brothers, the vicissitudes of boys seem familiar and banal. But the girl... oh the girl.

I do hope that someday her mystery will subside and she will become My Girl. But for now she is shrouded in mystery and stinky feet. Bad attitude galore. Making what seems so lovely become extraordinarily ugly. And then to think, this is just the beginning. In the not-so-distant future this creature, this Good, Bad and Ugly girl will turn 13. Just that thought turns my stomach.

Carrots and Sticks, the new-fashioned way

Yesterday morning for the third time in 4 weeks, we the Godfreys woke up collectively 15 minutes before the bus.

This is not a habit conducive to proper teeth-brushing or allowing time for a Healthy Breakfast. However, my kids made the bus! This is nearly a miracle, since Mugsy is the s l o w e s t human being on the planet. But it proves that we have moved past the mantra of the first two weeks of school, "I don't want to go." and the foregone conclusion that school is required has been ingested by my defiant & stubborn (ie. Like Her Father) girl.

Carrots and Sticks. Rewards and Punishments. It's all my life is about currently. I'm attempting to train these wild-beast children to be productive members of society, but most of the time I just end up yelling, screaming and going through all sorts of machinations just to get them to HEAR what I'm saying, much less minding. 

To reward the marvelous feats of the morning (and because we had leftover tokens & tickets from the hellish School Nite last week), I took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese after school. I spent three dollars & gave them the time of their lives. They barely complained & were quickly obedient during the whole endevour, proving that they did indeed deserve a reward for making the bus this morning. I explained that reward will not be available often, but it was fun to give them a Carrot instead of the Sticks I'm usually doling out.

I Win!! Hurray!

Of course, their good behavior was short-lived. Does anyone else have to punish their children for fighting over who gets to PRAY at dinner time? Nope? I didn't think so. Just me, what with my feral children & all.